For my success and wanting to be great it started earlier than I can put a number on it. I come from a good size town in the middle of Ohio. Nothing to extraordinary about the place but I grew up with a good family morals and even a better support system. That support system was once constructed of pure joy and encouragement from my family, friends, friend’s families, teachers, and the list goes on and on. I remember a lot about growing up but one thing I have been constantly told is that I would say one day I’m going to be a millionaire.

 

Let’s get real though the likely hood of that happening without hitting it big in the lotto, stumbling on some random fortune, or marrying into it is highly improbably for most. Well that is what I thought at least, until I realized that my million isn’t even money. My million comes from the want and need to be happy in all areas of my life. Now getting to this mindset has been the very journey that I have and still am walking on at this very moment. However this journey hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies.

 

The first incident that started my mental shift was in eighth grade. Like every good boy and girl you don’t have an option to go to school. So I went to school like normal, got my good grades came home and had a father and mother the whole family thing going. Well that all changed in the spring, if I remember correctly, of my eighth grade year. One day after school my brother, sister and I came home from school to find out that our parents were getting a divorce. Now for a kid of about 12 or 13 years old that’s kind of a big thing. It’s pretty much like if the Grand Canyon was formed in about 10 seconds. The family was split wide open, pain in everything that was said and done. The remorse seen both on our parent’s faces. Now don’t get me wrong divorces aren’t the worst thing ever but I remember the seeing the pain, longing, and tears of a woman who lost her whole world. Seeing that pain experienced by a person brought about my first serious self-vow, never to cause someone that much pain ever in my life. 

 

This vow I have tried to keep by surpassing the whole dating thing and I usually end up single even in the case when I do and try to change it. So with not much of a dating life and a split family I poured myself into my school work. Academically I wasn’t the genius but I put in the work and ended up obtaining good grades throughout my middle school years. These two things naturally followed me into high school, along with the divorced family tensions. Now keep in mind the whole time I was doing well in school I had my extra-curriculars like football, chorus, soccer. 

 

The constant persistence of doing my best and working hard soon took hold. I would push myself in pursuit of academic success and extra-curriculars. This success brought me good grades and slowly I started to make progress in my extra-curriculars as well. However the more I got into extra-curriculars the more I noticed that I wasn’t the best. I tried my hardest in both but there was always someone better than me. This lasted for a while but then I got tired of just not cutting it so I decided to take up an extra-curricular that most shied away from. I took up, golf, now this was good and bad in a sense. Golf taught me more about pushing myself farther as an individual than anything else. I was only as good as the amount of practice I put in. That means over the summer I practiced, on the weekends, etc. At the same time golf made me complacent in life. I started gaining weight because it was easy and didn’t require much work to really get somewhat good at the game. I was good enough to be on the varsity team, due to lack of players and some simple improvements.

 

I lived this life for my last three years of high school and by this time I was alright with being the fat fun kid. I could talk to anyone make people smile and was considered kind. However the whole time I felt like I was missing out. I never had a girlfriend only had two really close friends I hung out with and this all steamed from not feeling attractive or really knowing how to approach someone different. To this day I still struggle with the same things but I’m changing it slowly.

 

I always thought and believed in the old stories of if you are kind, caring, generous, and just a good guy that sooner or later the girl that everyone wanted would see it and want me. At this same time I have a nagging thought in the back of my mind of if I want a girl that takes care of herself then I need to as well. I think the later has taken over my life as of today but it really started with dates. Due to the fact I had gotten used to being the bigger kid in school people I surrounded myself accepted it. No one dared challenged it so when it came time to dances it was easy for me to pull extremely beautiful girls to go with. At the end of the day that’s all that happened though. We went to the dance they would say ohhhhh I had a nice time and that would be the end of it. Then two weeks later they would be in a relationship with some guy that they had claimed to be talking to for a few months. So the feelings of not being good enough slowly crept in, but I would shove it aside and go back to being happily fat, single, and desperate for someone to find both my personality and looks attractive.

 

I repeated this particular pattern every single time a dance came up. Now being fat wasn’t the worst thing on the face of the earth. I should actually thank it for giving me the ability to connect with people extremely fast. I can talk to people, especially most women, and get to a level that it takes most people years to get to. I can broach the “taboo” topics and they feel comfortable talking about it.  This is great right? Yeah it’s fantastic it is no holds bar sparring in the conversation world but conversation hasn’t led to anything for me. So the feeling of being used also starts to set in. I have come to realized that most people tend to talk to me if they see a benefit in something they need. Emotional support, talking about things they know I will be straight blunt and brutal about. They do this without having any repercussions in their life. I had become an emotional outlet that most people leaned on and still do. For the most part this doesn’t bother me, but for me when I make a connection with someone you are part of my wolf pack so to speak. The problem comes in with trying to take it to another level.  I usually develop deeper connected feelings than the other person. This lead to the given rejection statements most good guys here, ohhhh your nice but, I really don’t want to ruin our friendship, ohhhhh your so sweet but Johnny asked me out already.

 

All this came to head with my prom date of my senior year. Can you believe it the time when most seniors are celebrating getting done with high school and moving on with their life I was still contemplating trying to get a girlfriend. All I know by this time was I didn’t know what the hell I was, wanted , or was thinking of doing in my life. Two separate things happened at this juncture in my life. The first, to no surprise, I asked my prom date to be my girlfriend and of course she said something along the lines of , I need someone I have grown closer to. That comment was kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was done right then and there with woman in general. Every time it ended this way and at that moment I knew I wanted to change it. I wanted to have every girl that turned me down to want me at some point in life. Petty? Very much so but it started a fire in me I never knew would turn into a lifestyle.

 

At the same time of not having a girlfriend, I lost one of my best friends in life. My grandmother passed away the summer before I left for college. Now some people might be wondering why my grandmother would be a best friend. She had literally picked me up and spent countless hours with me from pre-school till 8th grade. She helped me realize that I could trust in someone other than just my mom and dad.  She showed me and instilled in me the with hard work comes rewards, she taught me to go after things that I wanted and nothing could take that away from me. She finally was the ultimate reason that I left my home town and pursued the college that I did. This also set a spark to the fire but one that I let go out once again.

 

The fire never really took hold until a year and half later after I started college, moved away from my home town, and meet people from all around the world, thus enter my college freshman year. I will be the first to tell you, yessssss for the love of god, the freshman 15 is possible, in my case it was the freshman 30. That’s right food in the morning, mid-day, lunch, dinner, post dinner, no working out and the life of video games took its toll, leaving me at my heaviest of 258 lbs after my freshman year. Somehow I was still able to move, run, jump do the physical things and my group of friends all were amazing within themselves. They didn’t exclude me because of my size instead they embraced me and slowly through their guidance, encouragement, and support I not only succeeded academically but my way of thinking started to shift.  My roommate at the time was a wide receiver for his high school football team and eventually joined the college track team as a walk on sprinter. I had another friend who was in the ROTC detachment and he was always doing something physically related. Probably my most influential friend, who I still am in contact with today, played Rugby for his country. He was ranked 21st in the world for his age and position when I first meet him. Now my friend had it going on, smart, talk, dark and handsome. We would go out and literally girls would swoon over my friends and then I was just there along for the ride.

 

This started the longing phase that has been a very difficult phase for me to get past mentally. With this longing phase noticed that I truly started to think about getting into shape. I remember first seeing a P90x add on the computer screen and I was like those abs are what I want. Slowly but surely this simple concept of seeing those abs, talking about it with my friends, and even being told by a family member nobody in our family would have abs because it wasn’t in our genetics, the winds of change started to kick up. My most influential friend at the time actually took me to the gym for the first time after I hit the 258 lb mark and we did an ab attack class very shortly that ended because I made an excuse but that I believe keyed me into the hard work it takes to get somewhere.

 

Summer soon was upon us and instead of going home like all freshman I was given the opportunity to live with my Aunt and work at a job she had set up for me for the summer. This was the second best decision in my life. I say this because she and I untimely had the come to Jesus moment everyone else was dancing around.  In the middle of a deep conversation she point blank came out and stated am I ready to deal with the health repercussions of my size when I grow older? I was taken back by this, hurt, embarrassed, disgusted, and just not happy. The coolest thing though in that moment  was she challenged me, she literally pulled out the P90x Dvd series and put it down on the counter and said this is your summer just give it a try and see what happens. I jumped at the opportunity; after all it only takes on 90 days to look like the guy on the cover right?  Little did I know it formed a lifestyle I can’t live without.

 

I poured myself into the workouts, went to bed sore beaten, just dead. I couldn’t do a pushup to save my life no arm definition, just a human jigglypuff. I remember seeing the smallest definition in my triceps 3 weeks later and from then on it’s been game on.  The first summer I when down a shirt size 2xl to XL and my pants were fitting better. The second summer I added an element and started running for a mile and half every morning. I was never able to run a mile under 12:00 minutes in high school so I picked that up and ran a mile and a half in 14:30, this was also for my rugby training that I had been introduced to my sophomore year in college. I would still look in the mirror and not like what I saw. I was down almost 60 lbs and still didn’t like the body I was holding, Fat everywhere, lose skin, etc…. Motivation was at an all-time low people were asking what I was doing so I would tell them and they would encourage me but still no girls, no abs, and still fat. My thinking started to go negative. My Aunt however was there to keep me going, saying look how far you have come, just imagine what you will look like next year. The third summer came around and I implanted Insanity, P90x2, and P90x.

 

By this time I was regimented in my workouts, eating healthier, and still making small progress but I still didn’t have the body I wanted. That school year I saw the body beast program and from then on I knew I wanted to be bigger and have more muscles. I bought the program and totally went in on it, trying to understand macros how my body functioned pushing more weight. At the same time I had gotten a job in Tulsa Oklahoma where I would go out with friends on the weekends and make bad food choices. Still not seeing the big muscles and knowing I still have more weight to lose, I switched back to P90x, Les Mills combat training, running intervals, and playing rugby.  This started my diet phase where I was so determined to get rid of the fat I was eating 1700 calories a day low carbs, zero fats, and protein.  The only thing that kept me going to this point was how far I had come. I couldn’t just stop now and so the 2nd summer in Tulsa was upon me and the decision to crash on a friend’s apartment floor for three months became the third best decision in my life.

 

This summer I was telling him about wanting to add more muscle to my frame and that every day I need to work out, by this time I was down to 145 lbs and looked tiny. His simple response was let’s do this dude! So we did it, we started lifting at the apartment gym where I was able to do some decent weight and at the same time meal prepping and adding in more calories back in. Halfway through the summer we joined a gym for two reasons, one the weights weren’t heavy enough and two we would talk about working out so much at work that one of our co-workers asked to join us. The man was 40 at the time and turned out to be a beast in the gym.  Well the wheels kept turning, I still didn’t feel right in my own skin, didn’t like how much fat I still had on me, weight in gym to me was small (I was comparing to everybody else lifting) and still trying to figure out macros.

 

I kept the negative mindset for 2 years after that and was stuck yeah I was taking of weight but I would put it right back on again. I tried the paleo diet, the ketogenic diet, low carb diets, meal prepping, cheat meals, cheat weeks and the list goes on, This ended up in me being a giant binge cycle where I would eat super healthy for 1-3 months and then eat super back and not track anything for 2 months. At this time I would fluctuate anywhere from 150-180 lbs and not care. If I was eating more I justified it by saying I was bulking and vice versa. The whole time I wasn’t working out with a purpose just trying to get bigger not really following a program and making my own as I went. I had no idea what I was really doing I just knew the body I had wasn’t what I wanted, the life I had wasn’t what I wanted, I craved change. This was also the time I set out to try a bodybuilding program. Kris Gethin’s 12 week transformation and the 1st leg day killed me and after that I went back to something easier.

I went back to Tulsa for one last summer and when I arrived I stepped on the scale and saw 175 lbs and was still holding a gut. At that moment I decided I was going to do what I had to get the weight off and get the body I wanted. I picked up Kris Gethin’s 12 week transformation program, figured out my macros (I was still totally under eating at this point), and cleaned my whole diet out. I called up my 42 year old work out partner and we went ham! I ate the same thing every day and followed the program to the letter. The whole time I was hearing people but not listening, people I was around were impressed by the dedication I was showing with my meals, gym time, and work ethic in the gym. Every day I would lead the workout listen to Kris Gethin speak about training tips, techniques, grips, reps, and implement. Little did I know I was trying to emulate rather than be me. Weight went up definition came through and I knew I was on the right path at that moment. Bodybuilding was the way I would get the body I was looking for. At the same time I feel into the hype about needing certain products and I was still trying to find stuff that would work for me. I kept at it and was playing around with different types of macros bent on figuring it out for myself. I then implement Gethins 12 week bulk program where I was able to get to 166 lbs before I cut down to 154 lbs. I kept repeating this cycle and at the same time I found a brand that I believe is the truest definition of myself.  LIFtE!

 

I was getting the body I wanted and seeing good results with macro tracking and hard work. My thought process changed to go freaking heavy and leave nothing left each gym session (I still lift this way today). I still also had fat one me, so I started to chat with the founder on LIFtE, Coach Adam Neth. Adam was kind enough to listen and then on top of that give me guidance along the way. At some point I read a blog by coach Adam and I knew that if I ever got the chance to be coached I want to start under him. I bought one of his programs and the first time I tried it I felt nothing. So I went back to the high volume heavy weight of the Gethin programs.  I felt like a monster on the Gethin programs, people would shy away from my work area in the gym and I was fine with that. However I was still off on something, so I once again I changed routines and was doing the Gethin program combined with a mix of my own.  My goal was to simply get as big as possible before May. At this point I was looking at progressive overload concepts because I still felt like I wasn’t training right because I wasn’t gaining the size I wanted. So I switched over to Adam Neth’s Shoulders and Squats.

 

This program along with the coaching of Adam Neth forged a new mentality in the gym from understanding how my body is working, the way my body functions off of food, and the progress I have seen has been amazing.  The LIFtE brand and idea resigants with me so much that I whole heartedly believe in the road I’m on now. It’s been a long time to get to where I am now but I know it’s nothing compared to what I want and will accomplish. Coach Adam has also been supporting me in creating this blog and his coaching goes beyond just being a coach. He gets involved in your life, asks about the everyday things, and reminds of the little things and the steady hand of guidance spurs me forward. LIFtE is in my heart and few will understand this but lifting and working out literally breathed life back into my personal life. It has forged what I now see and call The Iron pulse!

 

If you have made it this far thanks so much for your time you are truly awesome, amazing, and pure beast. If you want to know more about me or have questions about anything don’t hesitate to contact me or comment. Also check out the rest of the site!